(Virtual) Graduation Address 2020

Excerpt from Address at Virtual Graduation Ceremony 23rd May 2020

….this is a special moment because it is the final time the entire class of 2020 enjoys an experience together, albeit virtually. So I want to acknowledge that backdrop here, and say how proud I am of all of you, for all you have done at school, and how confident I am that you are going on to bright futures, despite the current situation. This is not how we imagined it would be; but while we can feel the loss of all being at NUS together, in truth, it’s not the pomp and circumstance that makes this event such a special one; it’s not the flags on stage or the photographers; or even the award of certificates that matter. There are two far more important things here:

• Firstly the people with whom you are sharing the event – so look around you, at the people who love you; who have supported you, and think of your peers across the globe. And be thankful. You are a remarkable group, following in a proud tradition of remarkable groups, and you will be followed by other remarkable groups. You’re part of something bigger than today.
• The second thing that’s more important than the venue is your frame of mind. And this is a lasting truth; that whatever the circumstances, it’s you that shapes this moment for yourself. You will find it said in so many ways, but it is old wisdom that while you cannot control events, you can control your reaction to them. So look at yourself, look inwards, and I know you can find reasons to be thankful, as we educators are thankful to have gotten to know you over recent years.

So though we are in unwelcome circumstances, let’s remember that joy is in ears that hear – let’s be joyful!

Class of 2020, and parents, please cast your mind back to joining UWCSEA, and your first day. For 15 of you that was in grade 1, for 50 of you it was Grade 11 – with most of you somewhere in between. But whether 2 years or 12, you can probably recall how you felt in the new, strange uniform, and the sense of walking onto Campus the first time. I know for parents, the memories will be crystal clear. And what a journey you have had since then!

So I invite you to close your eyes and rke quick trip down memory lane, and to think about your own highlights here. Perhaps it was making friends with people from different cultures; perhaps it was learning to lead at an international Peace conference; or the self-confidence you took from debating in front of hundreds at MUN; or the leadership you learnt in Student Council, Student Voice, Service Exec, Activities Council; or your sense of flow during your theatre or musical productions, or TedX talks. Or perhaps it was winning with style or losing with grace in football, volleyball, rugby, touch, swimming , basketball, tennis, golf, gymnastics, badminton, cross country, softball, netball, sailing, athletics… or tasting independence (and nothing else I hope) during Project Week; or dancing between the notes as they say, in a joyous performance; or realising in an academic subject, or through your extended essay that your thoughts and ideas can be uplifting, liberating, inspiring.

Or your highlight might be in a deep and unique Service project; perhaps you’ve used music at Apex Harmony Lodge to help elderly Alzheimer’s patients recall their forgotten youth; or worked to restore endemic species across Singapore in Rainforest Restoration, or literally gotten your hands dirty in Urban Gardening. Perhaps you’ve contributed to the Voices for Refugee advocacy group or supported the now-global Sky School / Amala project which offers education in refugee camps in Greece, Jordan, Bangladesh, Kenya and Lebanon. Or maybe it’s the relationships you’ve grown over many years with the Daraja girls in Kenya, or the Blue Dragon kids in Vietnam, or in so many other places. And there’s the hidden act of just being a good friend when someone needed it; that might have meant being a sympathetic listening ear, or it might have meant challenging someone to be their best self.

We don’t normally list all these (and there are, I know, so many I have not mentioned), but in these special days, and on this particular special day it is worth looking back more carefully than usual, to remember things that may have been crowded out by recent events. There is so much to be grateful for, so much to be proud about. Let’s ensure that these are the things that we remember most vividly, and that we hold onto, in these challenging times.

But enough of looking back. Let’s think about looking forward. I have two thoughts for you this evening, and I start with a story from author Mark Manson, who describes the situation in the US one hundred years ago when women did not smoke; only men did so. It wasn’t that women weren’t allowed to smoke – it wasn’t illegal or anything,, but they just choose not to. Sensible, you might think, but actually, the behaviour did not come from good reasoning, but because for women to smoke was considered unladylike. A lot of things were considered unladylike then – going to College, or standing in politics for example. But not just unladylike, or unfashionable – it was actually considered impolite – a confrontation to the regular social order for women to smoke.

The then-president of the American Tobacco Company saw this situation, and lamented. He said ‘It’s a gold mine right in our front yard’ because he knew that if he could just persuading everyone that it was OK for women to light up, he could double revenues overnight.

And persuade he did, as we know, and what’s most interesting here is how he did it. The marketing at the time radically changed advertising in ways that have lasted with us. Adverts stopped simply stating facts, as was the norm then, and they started trying to appeal to our noble sentiments. Firstly images of beautiful and glamorous women smoking were created. Secondly, smoking was framed not as lighting cigarettes, but as lighting ‘torches of freedom’; that is – by making it about equal rights. Remember women had won the vote only a few years before, so arguing that women were asserting their independence managed to equate Smoking with Freedom. And everyone wants freedom. So society moved; and women started to smoke. Brilliant marketing – and it’s been used as a case study in business schools worldwide ever since.

But the lessons I want to draw from this story are not about tobacco, medicine, marketing or corporate practices. There are two points.

Firstly, that the women and men who fell for this marketing probably did so for all the right reasons. Equal opportunities is a noble cause, and the new smokers and their supporters probably felt very progressive, whereas in fact, they were corporate dupes; and as Manson points out, equal-opportunities cancer has been with us ever since. So no matter how noble our values, perhaps in fact, especially if they are noble, there is no escape from the need for self-awareness and deep thought. The world is complex enough that the right values are necessary but not sufficient – we need an active, intelligent and discerning mind to apply them.

For example – it is right to value pleasant, easy and happy moments (indeed, I hope this is one of them); but without thought and self-awareness we may seek only these easy moments, and avoid the hard moments, the exhausting moments. If we do that then we will be profoundly missing out. Remember mountaineers suffer many pains and discomforts; the cold is cold; the exhaustion is exhausting; there is risk of injury. But the journey is a good one – much better than never leaving home. There is no contradiction here, because happiness is not simply the aggregation of happy moments. But that is not always entirely obvious; and it takes active vigilance to remember it.

In the smoking case, I would hardly say we should give women less choice than men. But knowing what we now know about smoking, I think there is a good argument to say that it would have been better had the choice to smoke never been put in front of anyone, whatever gender. But we all like choices; and we have tried to empower you to make good choices – at school, with friends, as families, where you go to College, what careers you follow – and indeed we hope you apply the self-awareness and deep thought I have mentioned, to those choices.

But what smoking story alludes to, and what much of modern society implies, is that the freedom to choose is somehow central, fundamental. And perhaps that’s a mistake. If you are free to choose between 5 types of chocolate, and someone else has a choice of 20, that doesn’t make them freer, whatever the marketing may tell you. In fact it probably makes them confused, and less likely to be happy with what their choices are. In more weighty matters – choice of college, careers, friendships, relationships – the same excess of choice and freedom can be bewildering, as you well know. The truth is that more choice doesn’t make you freer – if you are not careful it may imprison you with the worry that you have not made the right choice, or perhaps even paralyse you from choosing in the first place,

Author David Brookes got it right when he said Freedom is the means, not the ends. Freedom is not an ocean you want to swim in, it’s a river you want to get across, so you can commit and plant yourself on the other side.

My point is that what’s far more fundamental and valuable than total freedom and choice is commitment. I know many of us have found people that we have committed to; – friends, family, partners, colleagues – and the value of those commitments, through thick and thin, is obvious. The same, I suggest, applies to causes beyond ourselves – whether in fields of human rights, reducing inequality, sustainability, service, academic study, performances LGBTQ+ issues, social entrepreneurship, education, peace-building, or even in the absence of a grand cause, simply the joy of of being kinder than you need to be.

It’s your commitment to these things, as with your commitment to individuals, that can form a thread through your life, and that will serve you well across the decades before you. Don’t hold all your freedoms so tightly that you cannot grasp anything else – and so my last piece of advice for you, class of 2020, is simply this: Find the right thing to commit to; do not live a totally unencumbered life, do not always be looking to the next thing, racing on with the next choice. The human race is not a thing you can actually win. In all our projects, in all our relationships, it’s the chains we choose that set us free.

So that’s my first message for you; that without a high degree of thought and self-awareness, the right values are not enough; they may take you far, but not always in the right direction.

My second message follows from the first and is also drawn from the smoking story. It’s a narrower point – about one specific value; the value of choices. At times like these, when our choices have been so drastically curtailed, I think we are all acutely aware of the value of choice. But it’s also at times like these that we have, for the most part, willingly given up some choices because there are other more important things to preserve.

So I want to examine, for a moment, our choices. If you can combine these two pieces of advice, and use deep thought and self-awareness to support you in making your commitments, then you have every chance of creating the sort of life where you’ll leave things better than you found them. Across a lifetime, that’s a noble goal. We hope we have helped you start on the right path.

Our UWCSEA goal has been to educate individuals – that’s you, class of 2020 – to embrace challenges and to take responsibility for shaping a better world. I know I speak for the entire College when I say it has been a pleasure, and a privilege working with you. As well as the great hopes we have for you, we have even greater trust, in you.

Good luck.