“Graduation” 2021

[Excerpt from strictly socially distanced and CPE compliant Graduation Ceremonies May 22]

And what now? What as you go forward from here, today, into the next exciting stages of your lives? What are you going to be taking away to use as your foundation from now on? So many things, of course. But let me leave you with two thoughts.

The first stems from being here, today, at the end of your K-12 schooling. A big day and it’s nearly over, so soon, so suddenly – is this it? Really?

Safe-distanced arrivals

That question Is this is, is that all? is one that may occur to you across your lifetime. It does for me. And the answer is clear – yes, this is it. This is what it is. This is always what it is. And there are two ways of reacting to that – the first is to expect these special days to be miraculous. And they may be, or they may not be. But another, perhaps better way is to remember that the daily experiences can also be miraculous, if we let them be so. So we can use this special day as a platform to pay a different attention to the everyday events.

There are some everyday miracles, if only we can see them that way. It may be a simple breakfast with your family or a cup of tea in the Boarding House (of which there may be only a few left); it may be the laughter of your friends; it may be the the flash of pleasant surprise in the face of a stranger to whom you were kind. It might be from seeing and knowing elderly grandparents; or seeing babies and children and knowing that you were there just a moment ago (I think everyone here is a former baby, right?). And as you get older you will, like your parents, increasingly marvel at babies and children, with such tiny fingers that will one day build or weave or type, swipe and even write exams….. and with such tiny feet that will one day dance or kick or swim or even walk one day across a stage such as this.

Many find their wonder at the oceans, or clouds, or the stars, or grand trees, or great music, or poetry, or sports, or theatre, or abstract ideas, or with loved ones. Or all of these. For teachers, at the aha moment, when something has changed for a student, forever. And if you pay close attention – which is hard to do with a million distractions – these things will help you feel the world to be the glorious temple it is…. These are the moments to live for, and they can be found every day. Einstein said it this way: There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. 

So class of 2021, do not be too bogged down in the business of daily life to miss the glimpses of awe and wonder that are there everyday, if you just choose to see them. Look around you, caress the moments you have rather than attend to ones that may never happen. That’s my first message: Make your way not only by doing and achieving but also by being attuned to the glimpses of wonder, and of awe.

My second message to you comes from a story sent to me a few days ago from an ex-student, Monica. I taught her HL maths, many years ago – before any of you were even born. As an aside, she went on to study maths at College, and now owns her own social enterprise lingerie business on the East Coast of the USA. Let no one ever tell you that career paths are linear. From abstract algebra to underwear; who ever said Maths wasn’t sexy? A noble path – good for her so here’s a plug for her social enterprise – take a look at Maison Noelle if you want.

Speeches

Anyway here’s the story; it was new to me but you may have heard it before. A young boy on a beautiful beach, in the middle of day, is throwing starfish into the ocean. He throws one, reaches down, picks up another… keeps on going. An older man approaches the young boy and asks what are you doing?

The boy replies: The tide is low, the sun is high and if I don’t get the starfish back into the ocean, they will shrivel up and die. The man looks up and down the shore line, sees the scores of starfish and says there’s millions of ‘em. There’s no way that you can get them all back. Do you think you can really make a difference? The young boy stops, looks down at the golden starfish in his hand and thinks for a moment. Then he throws it back into the ocean, and says to the older man to say I don’t know, but I know I just made a difference for that one.

It’s a lovely story, with an obvious message that will be familiar to you – do what you can, when you can. Don’t let the fact that you cannot do everything stop you from doing anything. I hope you’ve learnt that and I won’t labour the point. But I think that we can use this story to show something else important. And here I draw on work by Bradley Campbell and Jason Manning who have looked at how people relate to each other, how we establish moral laws and relationships, how we establish our places in the world relative to each other, and how we seek status and justice. Campbell and Manning talk about three different approaches or cultures, each of which I think you will recognise and relate to. They are abundantly clear in the world, and even close to home sometimes.

The first approach is that of an Honour culture – where status is all and it’s important to refuse to be slighted by anyone. People are sensitive to any disrespect and are will maintain status at all costs. That status may come from looks, strengths, wealth, jobs (or even perhaps, grades?), and in this culture, we see boasts, put-downs, aggressive physical or intellectual posturing . We see it in gangs, in politics and even, occasionally, at school. But it’s a dangerous and limited approach; essentially the immature language of the playground. Had the child in the story reacted in an honour culture way he would have cursed the man and chased him off.

Certificates

The second way of responding is to join what Manning and Campbell call a Victimhood culture. This approach shares Honour culture’s focus in status and is also highly sensitivity to slight. But where outrage is the common response in an honour culture, the Victimhood culture responds with claims of being a victim of mistreatment. And it then tends to focus on power imbalances to exploit what’s been called the natural moral currency of victimhood. Had the boy entered the culture of victimhood, her would have had an argument with the man – saying that the man had no right to oppress him and challenged the man’s authority. In doing so, he would have missed the fact that the man did not in fact oppress him, or tell him what to do; he simply asked a question. The boy would have been distracted from what he had set out to do – rescue the suffering starfish – wasted his time feeling sorry for himself, and feeling angry with the man. Most tragically, in joining the Victimhood culture, he would have likely assumed that the man was not interested in saving the starfish, whereas in fact he might well have been – he might even have been looking for a more effective method. The boy might have unwittingly turned an ally into an enemy. I hope you can see why the Victimhood culture is as toxic as the Honor culture.

The alternative to both approaches is the Dignity culture. In a Dignity culture, status comes from our own internal sense of doing the right thing; it means we can ignore most slights, we can be less sensitive about differences, and recognise that everyone has their own stuff going on. In a Dignity culture we don’t need to assert power either through attacking or cancelling others; we can resolve most problems by (frankly) ignoring them, or through open, vulnerable discussion, mediation, and support. In Dignity culture we take very seriously the profound responsibility for our actions, but are humble enough to know that we hold no monopoly on the truth – which is why we seek to recognise multiple viewpoints and we respect the rights of others to hold different views – even ones we find offensive. Thus, a Dignity culture results in engagement with others, and engagement on the basis of ideas (not identity). It does not call out, it calls in. The boy in the story worked in a Dignity culture; he had his own moral compass, but he was open to considering other ideas, critically.

You will come across many pressures to join Honour or Victim cultures (on social media most obviously, but not exclusively) and those cultures may given you a powerful sense of identity and even moral conviction. But I think that’s very likely a false conviction and I urge you to remain steadfast members of Dignity culture. Like the boy in the story, face your challenges with a quiet, thoughtful composure, by actively engaging with other people’s ideas (more than their identities), and with a calm commitment to your own moral missions. That’s what the boy in the story did; he responded with a steadfast integrity – essentially saying I hear you, and I’ve thought about what you said carefully. And I’m going to go on and do the right thing because I believe it makes a difference. 

I would add that I hope that for you, who have now had an education that seeks to be a force for peace and a sustainable future, we might amend that to And I’m going to go on and do the right thing because I believe it makes a difference. Would you care to join me? We can do more together.

No detail overlooked (mirrors were inside)

Class of 2021 I have suggested to you that if you make room for moments of wonder, and if you adopt a Dignity culture then you have every chance of creating the sort of life where you’ll leave things better than you found them, for you and for those fortunate enough to know you. Across a lifetime, that’s a noble goal. We hope we have helped you start on a good path.

Our UWCSEA goal has been to educate individuals – that’s each of you, class of 2021 – to embrace challenge and to take responsibility for shaping a better world; perhaps to throw some starfish into some oceans when you have the chance, and to inspire others to do the same.. I know I speak for the entire College when I say it has been a pleasure, and a privilege working with you to prepare you to do just that; and that’s why as well as the great hopes we have for you, we have even greater trust in you. I wish you all the best of luck.